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Oh, the Irony...

I have come across a new discovery in the English language, in which I have postulated that everything in English is irony. Allow me to demonstrate.

Too often I find myself being corrected by proud English teachers of the improper use of the term “irony.” I will use the word and they will say, “That is not irony, Cody, that is merely coincidence.” Well, it is my current belief that by calling something ironic, it then becomes ironic. For instance, let us take the following circumstance: two thousand spoons, and I need a knife. Now, that is not irony, it is only bad coincidence. However, by calling it irony when it really is not irony, especially considering I know it’s not irony, then makes the whole situation (ready for it?) IRONIC.

A song by Alanis Morissette proves this point even more so. During the song, she gives several instances of irony, such as “a no-smoking sign on your cigarette break” and “a traffic jam when you’re already late.” However, the catch comes when we realize that NONE OF HER EXAMPLES ARE REALLY IRONY. Oh, you think, Alanis couldn't possibly be that stupid. Well, the answer is...she isn't. Because, what is the title of her song but “Irony?” And so, by titling a song about irony in which none of your examples are really ironic “Irony,” it makes one think, “Well, isn’t that ironic?”

And so, we prove that just by calling something which is not ironic ironic, it then becomes ironic, and that Alanis Morissette is smarter than us all.