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Good Pilots Are Hard To Find...

Tragedy stuck Midway Airport in Chicago Thursday night when a Boeing 747 from American Airlines slid off the end of a snowy runway and into civilian traffic, landing on several cars and killing a 6-year-old boy.

The officials at Chicago's Midway Airport claim the crash was a result of harsh weather conditions, with snow recorded falling at a 1 inch-per-hour rate. Slick conditions and bad visibility all added up to the tragedy of that night, ending in the death of a child.

Nonsense.

I talked with the wreakage officials myself and listened to the in-cockpit recordings which continued running all throughout the crash:

Pilot: "...and then Lex's dead mother tells him to let Johnathan win the senate election so he can be a good person."

Co-Pilot: "That's insane. What did Lex do?"

Pilot Trainee: "Uh, guys...the runway's coming up. Shouldn't we be setting the flaps down or something?"

Pilot: "Hey kid, don't worry. We've done this a thousand times."

Co-Pilot: "Yeah, and my friend said he even did it after spending three hours at the airport bar before take-off. It really isn't that hard, or they wouldn't let humans do it. Military pilots can even take off with just 300 feet of runway on a boat...we've got 6,500 in Chicago. Don't worry about it."

Pilot Trainee: "But the tower said we should--"

Pilot: "Tower, shmower. What do they get right anyway? They're not even real pilots like us, just telephone operators to help us do what we do best."

Pilot Trainee: "And what is that?"

Pilot: "Well, I'll tell you what we do..."

Pilot Trainee: "No, I mean what is that?"

Pilot: "Oh, that? That's just highway 70..."

Pilot and Co-Pilot: "Crap."

Pilot Trainee: "You guys are so fired."

And the point is, those airports aren't even that hard to land on. I used to be a pilot for the Carribean Islands, and I've seen alot worse.

For instance...

Then there's this other island...


The mountains are bad, too...


The point is that a little snow shouldn't be so much that it causes the plane to go off the edge and into a freaking freeway. What they need for training is runways like these...for the sake of insentive.