Spider-Man contemplates the dark side in Columbia Pictures' Spider-Man 3
HAVE TO admit, my blood's been boiling for this movie ever since I saw a picture of Peter Parker in the black spider-suit crouched atop a gargoyle in the rain. It was perfect. I thought, "This could be even better than the second! It's the perfect story, the perfect characters and the perfect villains! Finally, a worth-while trilogy!" That, however, has remained just a thought. It was finally snuffed out about two and a half hours after I walked into a free showing of the movie on opening night a few weeks ago. As soon as the movie ended, I looked to my ladyfriend for some thoughts.
"Well?" she asked me. "What'd you think? On a scale of one to ten?"
"Oh," I said, staring blankly at the screen before me, "There's no way I could answer that right now. I need to let this sink in a little."
There was another moment of silence before she said, "Well, just so you know, I'd give it a three," and then stood up and made her way to the isle.
We and the group we saw the movie with talked outside the theatre for about fifteen minutes. I really didn't say anything, just listened to the opinions of my close friends. In the end, I give it a seven out of ten, for the sheer fact that I was entertained for two and a half hours -- which is something many movies have failed to do lately. All admitted, it was a mind-numbing, stupid sort of entertainment where all I could think was, "Ooo...ahh...that's pretty!" But it was entertainment nonetheless.
The problems the movie had were endless, but the most prominent one was the lack of a
professional writer. Alfred Gough and Miles Millar, the geniuses who wrote the second Spider-Man, were replaced this time around by -- you guessed it! -- Sam and Ivan Raimi, two guys who should have restriction orders placed on them from touching any and all serious scripts. I don't know if it was appointed or simply the case of an out-of-control ego trip, but the men -- great and unique directors as they may be -- are quite possibly two of the worst plot writers I have ever encountered. Just for reference sake, when a twenty-year-old nobody like myself could come up with a better plot line, with dozens less holes and more basic continuity, you've got yourself a problem.
The direction was all it was expected to be, and even the dialogue was pretty witty and well-done, but the series of events the tried hopelessly to paste the mediocre story together were at some times so ridiculous it made me wonder if I wasn't watching a spoof of the movie a year later on the MTV Movie Awards (of which this movie should win none, but will probably win most of).
What kills me is, after making the masterpiece that is
Spider-Man 2, the folks in charge didn't just say, "All right, guys! Great job! This is fantastic! Let's all get together again next month and do it again!" But no, that would just make too much sense, so let's fire everybody that was involved in making this
awesome movie and slap together a new production staff, half controlled by the Raimi family, and see if we can ruin this franchise completely! Well congratulations, people...mission accomplished.
THE OVERMAN'S GRADE
::: D+ :::
(Poor Effort)
