Thursday, May 31, 2007

The Killing Joke

WARNER BROS HAVE just released the first official photo of Heath Ledger as "The Joker" from The Dark Knight, sequel to the ever-popular Batman Begins from two years ago.

I have to admit, the first time I heard that it was going to be Heath Ledger, I nearly crapped my pants in awed disappointment. I mean, Heath Ledger? C'mon, guys. This is a guy whose only serious role -- besides playing a pretty boy love interest in every one of his movies -- was in Brokeback Mountain playing a gay cowboy. Again, the best I could think with the news was that, admittedly, Ledger does have a fairly wide and, quite frankly, creepy smile. I'm not the type to say that a guy could never pull off a role, and in the end I was still hopeful, but I had my doubts nonetheless.

A couple of days ago, however, I was told that the smile would not be prosthetic, as in all other incarnations of the character, but would in fact be the remnants of some sort of facial scarring from a prior accident. As it turns out, Ledger's Joker has what is known as a "Glasgow Smile" or, in Britain, a "Chelsea Grin." This is where, back in the 1900's, murderers would cut their victim's faces from lip to ear on both sides, giving them the illusion of a permanent smile, and then kick them in the stomach or groin, forcing them to scream in pain and thusly rip their faces open, usually resulting in death. This is apparently what has happened to the Joker in The Dark Knight and, quite frankly again, I think it looks quite nice. It's a refreshing take on a usually campy and cartoony character, and better fits the dark theme of the latest film. I think it's genius, having the evil smile of the clown madman the bloody result of an obviously torturous incident years ago.

Ledger's portrayal of the psychopathic killer is reported to be based somewhat on Alex and his rampaging droogs from Stanley Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange, his insanity situated more in the eyes than the seemingly blood-soaked smile. To me, something like this just seems more likely to drive a guy insane than taking the usual bath in a vat of chemical waste. Bravo Heath Ledger...you might actually pull this off.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

The Big 2-0!

AS OF LAST Wednesday, I am officially twenty years old! So, congratulations to me for not being dead yet. There are many things to commemorate with this, so I'll try and touch on all of them right now.

Firstly (and I'm starting off with this not because it's the most important but, on the contrary, because it is not the most important), the title for my age no longer ends with "teen." This treachery began on May 16, 2000 when I became thirteen years old. I believe I got Super Smash Bros for the Nintendo 64, but I'm not quite sure. Anyway, ever since that day I have been a "teenager." And I distinctly remember how much I wanted that, so much so that the entire year that I was twelve I demanded proper recognition as a "pre-teen" simply because, although a demotion from actual teenager, "pre-teen" still had "teen" in the title, which was enough for me. However, since that time I have realized that it is not a persons age that determines how they are treated in society, but rather their maturity and wit; we can call this the "mental age." Of course, mental age is difficult -- if not downright impossible -- to determine on me. I'm very smart, gifted with above-average verbal and problem solving skills, which makes my mental age go up. On the other hand, I am also very childish, irresponsible and a serious procrastinator. For that, my numbers go down. In the end, I average out at (and you'd have guessed this if you did the math) my own exact age. I'm perfectly balanced between my real and mental ages. I suppose this is a good thing.

Secondly, I am once again divisible by ten, which has occurred only one other time in my life, and at that time I really didn't care enough to appreciate the matter properly.

Thirdly, this is the first birthday I've had in over three years during which time I've had a ladyfriend...and I mean a good ladyfriend. I've been with this one for almost eight months now; her name will be known by you as Izzie, and I very much like her. She makes me smile and I make her smile. We swell up each other with that sweet fragrance of love, and she knows me better than anyone else. So, she's knows exactly what to get me, because she knows what symbolizes me on the deepest of levels; on this subject she rarely goes sour. For my birthday, she got me I, Robot the movie, a new cane that in reality sheaths a very sharp blade about one foot in length, a dinner at Red Lobster followed by experimental lovin', and a trip to a magic shop where I bought a book on rubber band magic. My favorite is the cane, and for getting it for me after I lost mine when I first met her, well, I give her major props. If you're reading this, Izzie, I love you.

My brothers went in together and bought me my first cell phone, along with several months worth of coverage. It's a camera-phone, which I didn't really care for before hand but now have fallen deeply in love with. I'm happy with it, but have sworn not to become a douche bag with it. I promise.

And, last but not least, my mother bought me an i-pod look-alike. It's called a GoGear, and I like it for the fact that it does everything an i-pod does, but is Windows oriented and costs a fraction of the price. It holds up to 1800 songs, 3600 photos, twelve hours of video and has a radio and high quality voice recorder. It currently contains the entire Beatles discography, Ray Charles, Pink Floyd, Cake, my own personal "best of" Queen, Rufus Wainwright, and my father's album from the seventies (I've named it Kristi in the Morning, although it really has no title).

Well, that's all I have time for right now. Frequency is almost done, and as of right now is considered by me one of my favorite stories I've ever done. In short, I had a great birthday -- probably the best one ever -- and I'm high on life for however long it lasts. You know...never been better.