Becoming The Overman

SO, THIS IS my one hundredth post. I was trying to think of what to write about to commemortate this momentus event -- and I had made my decision -- but this is also my first long-distance post and my time at a computer is very limited.

So, in the stead of writing about the United Nations and their inability to halt the aggressive war tactics of Iran and North Korea, causing Americans to blame their own leaders of inaction when it is not the sole responsiblity of the United States to stop such things on our own, even though the U.N. was created after World War II for the main purpose of monitoring the activities of other nations and their leaders, as well as insuring the universal human rights of all people of the world are upheld, I will write about how I'm in Ohio right now visiting family and that I'll be back in Smithfield in nine days.

If the chance is given me, I will post again before the end of my vacation...though it should be remembered that that is the longest of shots. If not, I will relay the entire series of events back to the site upon my return. Thanks for the patience, and good night.

Posted by C. Nicholas Walker at 2:05 AM | Permalink | Comments

YESTERDAY I GOT a call from Hugo asking me to switch sections with him that night. I told him I was on my way and that we'd talk about it once I was there. I was scheduled to be first cut, and switching with Hugo would have made me last cut, so I told him no...probably quicker than I've ever told anybody I wouldn't do them a favor (I tend to be a bit of a pushover in that I hate to dissapoint people).

Hugo, of course, wasn't happy with it. But after about an hour of waiting tables and taking ToGo orders, Fred told me that they couldn't get a hold of the SPG and wondered if I would Speegy with Brian for the night. I sort of hesitated with an answer, which he must of thought meant, "Hey, sure. No problem," and he wisked away to the front to change the board.

So, I went to helping Brian. However, I soon realized that I was still, by all technicalities, the ToGo guy. And low and behold, everytime I went to the front to see if I could help sit people the phone rang and I was back in the kitchen fixing orders. And more orders. And then, after that, some more orders just for fun. I'm not sure how Brian managed the front by himself on a Friday night, but he's been with the company for years now and I knew that if anyone could handle it, it'd be him.

Only after things finally died down, and I'd already taken most of the ToGo orders that were coming in for the night (including $90 tickets with $2 tips), did they make me permanent SPG with Brian; and as I walked to the host stand after my last order, and as he walked back from taking the last table off wait, we met at the bench by the door and collapsed.

Turns out, not only was I going to be Speegying that night, but they also needed me to close it down. In other words, I didn't leave till one in the morning...and Hugo laughed every minute of it. Till he left, of course, long before me.

Fred was nice about it, though, and told Eric to buy me dinner. Fred told me he appreciated everything I always did for them, and instead of thanking him I acted stupid and tried to make it a funny moment. Instead, I made it awkward.

Anyway, I ordered the most expensive thing on the menu and enjoyed it. To pass the time I got Nadya, the hispanic Salad Bar Lady, to teach me some words in Spanish. I was pretty good at the time, but by the end of the night I'd forgotten them all...I hope she doesn't test me.

Also, to top off the night, I discovered we were out of Vagina Bags. So now I have to get some gloves on and just dig each unwoven, menstral-stenched piece out, one by one. Oh God, I miss the Vagina Bags...

Posted by C. Nicholas Walker at 7:14 PM | Permalink | Comments

ERIC, ONE OF my managers and friends, walked up to me last night as I sat by the entrance to the restaurant eating my Triple Prime Cheese Burger. I was Speegying, so I had to keep and eye on the door, even during my dinner break, in case someone came in who needed to be sat. Of course, I couldn't directly see the door, but we have a salad bar with mirror backing, so if you sit at a particular spot at a particular booth, you can use the reflections to see if anyone's waiting for service. He walked over and leaned across the partition between mine and the adjacent booth.

"So, Cody," he said, sratching the top of his buzz cut.

This is gonna be bad, I thought.

"How much do you make waiting tables?"

"Uh, $2.13?" I said.

"And how much do you make S-P-G-ing?"

I didn't really know the answer to that one. To be honest, I never really read that part of my check stub at the end of the week. I really didn't care. I just always assumed my wages never changed, considering that when I SPG, the waitstaff tips me out.

"I don't know," I said, "$2.13?"

"Three."

"What?"

"I always thought you made three bucks an hour Speegying," he said. He realized he was getting off the point, so he shook his head and continued while I started wondering why he was interrupting my dinner in the first place.

"Well, anyway," he said, "what would you say if I talked to Fred to get you more money and make you a Speegy permanently?"

Suddenly, I found myself next to Trish, one of the closers that night, explaining to me that it's obvious I like doing it and that we only have one SPG right now. I was getting a little worried, considering that the reason I ever left Neptune's was that they wanted to make me their permanent host.

"And I've already gotten two complements on you tonight," Eric said, smiling. "One from JP's section and one from Trish's. They said you're the best host they've ever seen. They said you're the only one who genuinely smiles at them when they come in."

I heard what they were saying, and buttering me up really did help a bit, but the fact was that I needed the money from being a waiter and, pay raise or not, moving from server to Speegy was a pay cut, plain and simple. A pay cut I can't afford.

"Well, I do enjoy it," I finally said. "You know, making people happy when they come in. But I wouldn't make any money. I mean, I need to be a waiter."

"That's why I wanted to talk with Fred about a pay raise," Eric said.

"I don't know. I'd have to see how much more I'd be getting before I said anything at all."

Trish and Eric sort of dropped it with that and let me be. Luckily, they're nice enough people that they can tell when they're trying to screw me, or when I feel like I'm being screwed. It stayed just a little conversation with an innocent little question pressed in for good taste. But by the end of the night, after I'd received my tip out of $45 for my work, Eric told me Trish made $55. And she left before me...while I cleaned the toilets and changed out the Vagina Bags in the ladies room.

Yeah, I think I'll stick to serving. It's nice to not worry about the stress of constantly making guests happy, but then again...there are the Vagina Bags.

Posted by C. Nicholas Walker at 1:07 PM | Permalink | Comments

I HAVEN'T WRITTEN about work since I was hired there in January, so I suppose now is as good a time as any for a revival.

I've been an employee at Ruby Tuesday of Smithfield for a little over five and a half months now, which is exceptionally longer than most hired help there considering our restaurant has a 400% employee turnover. Although I'm known for taking a long time to clean up after being cut for the night, I think I'm well-liked mainly for the fact that I'm always in a freakishly good mood and I never rant or whine about my job.

Tonight was an unexceptional night, except for the fact that I seemed to have suddenly misplaced a suprising amount of money sometime during the night. You see, when I'm paid with cash, in all my years of waiting tables, no one's ever not given enough to cover a check. They may have ripped me on the tip, but they always pay for the meal. So, for the most part, I don't count my money and check what sort of a cash tip they gave me when they say, "Keep the change." I like to stay as unbiased to my guests as possible, so I can never say I started to treat them bad or ignore them because I know they've given me a tip below what I'd of expected...it keeps me moral.

But at the end of tonight I had made about $370 in sales, with a per-person average of $16.55, which is good considering our goal is usually about thirteen bucks. Figuring up the percentages in my head, I figured I should have made about $55 in tips, if not more, based on the evaluation that everyone left an average of a 15% tip. But low and behold, I count my money and all I made was $36, nine of which I had to tip out to the bartender, host and salad bar lady. That left me with $27 on a Friday night. Bummer.

Luckily the night started off with me taking a table of six, a collection of three couples, and they were all deaf! Not only that, but they couldn't speak coherently either, as most-to-all deaf people can't hear themselves, so they spent the entire meal signing to each other and silently laughing. They were wonderful people, the kind that remind me why I'm glad to be a waiter, and by the end of the meal I could even say certain words in sign. I was amazed with how much more emotion they could show with their arms and hands than most people can with their voice. They were a challenge to wait on, but they were really neat people I hope I can wait on again.

Posted by C. Nicholas Walker at 2:20 AM | Permalink | Comments

It took me a couple times of watching, but I've come to love Superman Returns for what it is: Bryan Singer's view of the Superman world.

STORY: Flawed but worthy - Considering the film's 2 and 1/2 hours long, the time goes by fairly quickly, simply because the movie starts of without worrying about any introduction to characters; it assumes we already know what there is to know. What Singer didn't consider was the difference between the connection we have to characters and the connection we have with the people playing those characters (Kate Bosworth's Lois Lane is much different from Margot Kidder's from 1978). Along with that, there was alot in this movie that wasn't necessary for a great Superman movie; as someone put it to me yesterday, this could have been one hell of a two hour movie.

ACTING: Fair - Most of the actors did a wonderful job with their roles, which means that I forgot they were acting as I watched. Brandon Routh, however, had certain vocal intonations that made me think if maybe he didn't think about the line a little too much before saying it (particularly his repeated, "I'm always around.") But when things get hairy for Superman, Routh is fantastic, and even his Clark Kent seems just how you'd imagine him.

DIRECTION: Outstanding - It's Bryan Singer, who brought back X-Men and X2 and single handedly restarted the Superhero movie genre. For most of its scenes, this was one of the most emotionally directed and beautiful movies I've seen in a while, especially considering it's about a guy in tights.

VISUALS: Oscar-worthy - Enough can't be said about how this film looks, because it's Superman and you get to see things you could only see in a Superman movie, although I do think that directors nowadays rely back on CGI too much, even for simple shots that really didn't need it (such as Superman and Lois floating in front of the Daily Planet globe for several seconds).

OVERALL: In the end, this is a good film. But being a Superman fan myself and knowing what I know, there's no real excuse for this movie not completely rocking my socks off, because in the end, Superman is the most emotionally driven and visually fantastic characters of all time. And yet, somehow, Spider-Man 2 was a much better, even classic superhero movie, whereas Superman Returns, sad to say, didn't know when to quit. But for what it gets woefully wrong, Singer's Superman makes up for it by getting much more right, and for that it gets my recommendation.

Posted by C. Nicholas Walker at 1:20 PM | Permalink | Comments